The Best Thing I Learned in My Early 20s: Protecting My Peace

I couldn't tell you how long it took me to feel truly comfortable saying "no" without worrying about what everyone else would think. I used to be so afraid that people would judge me, think I was lame, or assume I was missing out. And yes, I know what you're thinking... this is about going out, drinking, and all of that. And yes, 100%, it is. But for me, it was also about so much more.

Learning to say no meant prioritizing my health. For me, that looks like getting enough sleep, making time for exercise, allowing myself to rest and recover, and setting boundaries with people, places, and things that drain my energy and dim my inner light. I've learned that I absorb the energy around me, so protecting my own has become one of the most important things I can do.

If you've ever struggled to say no or walk away from things that aren't filling your cup, this is for you. It isn't easy, but learning to prioritize yourself can truly change your life. My hope is that, through this blog post, you'll walk away with a few tips and reminders that inspire you to trust your heart, honor your needs, and protect your inner peace.

My first piece of advice: don't bottle things up.

While it's important not to let other people's opinions control your decisions, it's also important to talk to someone you trust. Getting advice, reassurance, or simply another perspective from someone who truly knows you, can help settle your thoughts, ease your worries, and remind you that you're not alone. Sometimes, just saying things out loud helps you realize what your heart has been trying to tell you all along.

Throughout college and still to this day, that person is my friend Anna. Anna knows me to my core. Every time I need someone to remind me that my feelings are valid, I go to her. If I had to describe Anna in three words, they would be beautiful, kind, and caring. She is the perfect example of the kind of person you want in your corner. I can go to her with absolutely anything, and I never feel judged. She always has a way of making me feel worthy, loved, and enough, even when I can't see it myself.

So, my beautiful friends, think about your "Anna." Whether that person is 20 feet away or 1,500 miles away, keep them close. They're someone you love dearly and someone who loves you just as deeply. Having even one person who makes you feel seen, heard, and supported is such a gift. Hold on to them.

My second piece of advice is to embrace what truly makes you happy.

I know this can be easier said than done, but take a moment to think about the things in life that genuinely fill your cup, and never miss an opportunity to cherish them.

For me, that's movement. I know that when I don't make time to exercise every day, it affects me emotionally, mentally, and physically. So before you start worrying about what everyone else is going to think or say because you chose to skip something that doesn't truly serve you, remember how amazing you're going to feel afterward for choosing yourself.

And if you need someone to remind you that everything is going to be okay, lean on the person who is your "Anna." As I mentioned earlier, this is the person who reassures you, encourages you, and reminds you of who you are when you need it most. We all deserve to have an Anna in our lives, and if you have one, don't be afraid to lean on them.

And finally, my last piece of advice is to give yourself the chance to fall in love with yourself.

You only get one body, one heart, one mind, and one soul, so allow yourself to love each of them deeply.

Maybe this is your chance to start writing down all the things you bring to the table and all the things that make you so special. I did this by saying yes to new opportunities. Whether it was becoming a horse wrangler or moving 1,500 miles away on my own, I learned that I have so much to offer. I am capable of so much more than I ever gave myself credit for, and I don't think I would have realized that if I had stayed in my comfort zone.

So give yourself the chance to discover who you are. I promise you'll surprise yourself, and you might just fall in love with the person you're becoming.

My Story

How Leaving My Sport Led Me to My Purpose

By Paige Feeney

One morning, I woke up and decided I could not keep living the way I was. From the outside, everything looked great. I was playing squash at the collegiate level for my university, doing what so many athletes dream of doing. But internally, I was struggling. Squash operated on a ladder system, and instead of feeling like I was part of a team, I constantly felt like I was competing against my own teammates. Every practice felt like a fight to prove myself, and every day felt emotionally exhausting. As someone who had spent her entire life in sports, I did not know how to handle feeling so out of control, so I started controlling the one thing I felt I could: food.

What began as trying to gain some sense of control slowly turned into something much bigger. I became consumed by counting calories, restricting food, and convincing myself that eating less would somehow make everything else feel more manageable. An average day of eating for me was a coffee with artificial sweetener and almond milk in the morning, a granola bar and fruit cup for lunch, and egg bites or a salad for dinner with grapes for dessert. That was it. Day after day, I was eating less than 1,000 calories while trying to perform as a collegiate athlete, often squeezing in gym workouts before or after practice as well. Looking back now, it breaks my heart because that was absolutely not the way I wanted to live, but at the time it felt like the only way I could live. The more I restricted myself, the more disconnected I became from myself. My hair started falling out, my skin became pale, and the energy and confidence I once had disappeared. When I looked in the mirror, I knew I was not myself anymore, so I made one of the hardest decisions of my life and walked away.

At 20 years old, stepping away from my sport felt terrifying. Sports had been my identity for as long as I could remember. Growing up in Marion, Massachusetts, I was always moving—playing tennis, lacrosse, and racing sailboats around Cape Cod. Every season brought another sport, another competition, another goal, and for the first time in my life, I was faced with the question: who am I without my sport? That question became the turning point of my life.

As difficult as that season was, it ultimately led me to discover my true passion. Shortly after leaving squash, I began working at my university’s Wellness Center as a Student Wellness Representative, where I focused on promoting mental, physical, emotional, and sexual health across campus. What started as a student job quickly became something much more meaningful. Every day I was surrounded by conversations about wellbeing, health education, and helping people become the best versions of themselves. I loved creating programs, planning events, and connecting students with resources that could improve their lives. For the first time, I realized that health was so much more than exercise.

A few weeks into the role, I felt ready to reconnect with movement again, but this time on my own terms. I asked my supervisor if I could start teaching cycling classes at the university. Maybe ten people would sign up for a class, but I did not care. I simply wanted to create a space where people could move their bodies, listen to good music, and leave feeling better than when they walked in. I had no idea that a small decision would shape my future. What started as a college cycling class became the foundation of my career.

Today, I am a personal trainer at a private community and the Head Functional Fitness Trainer at Pvolve in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, more than 1,500 miles from my hometown. Every day, I help people build strength, confidence, and resilience, and I get to witness people accomplish things they never thought possible. Most importantly, I help people build healthier relationships with movement, which is something I was searching for all those years ago.

While fitness became my profession, I knew there was another piece of the puzzle I wanted to explore. As a Health, Exercise, and Sport Studies major in college, I was always fascinated by the connection between lifestyle and health. One course, Personal and Community Health, sparked my interest in health coaching and led me to the Primal Health Coach Institute. Their holistic approach to health completely changed how I view wellness, emphasizing the connection between mind, body, and soul, and challenging me to think beyond just exercise and nutrition.

The program also became deeply personal. For years, I struggled with IBS due to the stress of college sports, waking up in intense pain that would leave me curled up for hours. Through my education, I learned how to better support my body through nutrition, lifestyle changes, and a deeper understanding of gut health. The results have been life changing. Today, those painful mornings are few and far between, and I feel stronger, healthier, and more connected to my body than ever before.

When I look back, leaving squash felt like the end of something important, but what I did not realize at the time was that it was actually the beginning. Sometimes the hardest decisions create space for the most meaningful opportunities, and walking away allowed me to discover a path that aligns with who I am and what I value.

Today, I am proud to coach clients one on one who are looking to jumpstart their health journey, just like I once did. Every day, I get to support and empower others as they work toward becoming their healthiest selves, and this work is something I am deeply grateful for.