The Best Thing I Learned in My Early 20s: Protecting My Peace
I couldn't tell you how long it took me to feel truly comfortable saying "no" without worrying about what everyone else would think. I used to be so afraid that people would judge me, think I was lame, or assume I was missing out. And yes, I know what you're thinking... this is about going out, drinking, and all of that. And yes, 100%, it is. But for me, it was also about so much more.
Learning to say no meant prioritizing my health. For me, that looks like getting enough sleep, making time for exercise, allowing myself to rest and recover, and setting boundaries with people, places, and things that drain my energy and dim my inner light. I've learned that I absorb the energy around me, so protecting my own has become one of the most important things I can do.
If you've ever struggled to say no or walk away from things that aren't filling your cup, this is for you. It isn't easy, but learning to prioritize yourself can truly change your life. My hope is that, through this blog post, you'll walk away with a few tips and reminders that inspire you to trust your heart, honor your needs, and protect your inner peace.
My first piece of advice: don't bottle things up.
While it's important not to let other people's opinions control your decisions, it's also important to talk to someone you trust. Getting advice, reassurance, or simply another perspective from someone who truly knows you, can help settle your thoughts, ease your worries, and remind you that you're not alone. Sometimes, just saying things out loud helps you realize what your heart has been trying to tell you all along.
Throughout college and still to this day, that person is my friend Anna. Anna knows me to my core. Every time I need someone to remind me that my feelings are valid, I go to her. If I had to describe Anna in three words, they would be beautiful, kind, and caring. She is the perfect example of the kind of person you want in your corner. I can go to her with absolutely anything, and I never feel judged. She always has a way of making me feel worthy, loved, and enough, even when I can't see it myself.
So, my beautiful friends, think about your "Anna." Whether that person is 20 feet away or 1,500 miles away, keep them close. They're someone you love dearly and someone who loves you just as deeply. Having even one person who makes you feel seen, heard, and supported is such a gift. Hold on to them.
My second piece of advice is to embrace what truly makes you happy.
I know this can be easier said than done, but take a moment to think about the things in life that genuinely fill your cup, and never miss an opportunity to cherish them.
For me, that's movement. I know that when I don't make time to exercise every day, it affects me emotionally, mentally, and physically. So before you start worrying about what everyone else is going to think or say because you chose to skip something that doesn't truly serve you, remember how amazing you're going to feel afterward for choosing yourself.
And if you need someone to remind you that everything is going to be okay, lean on the person who is your "Anna." As I mentioned earlier, this is the person who reassures you, encourages you, and reminds you of who you are when you need it most. We all deserve to have an Anna in our lives, and if you have one, don't be afraid to lean on them.
And finally, my last piece of advice is to give yourself the chance to fall in love with yourself.
You only get one body, one heart, one mind, and one soul, so allow yourself to love each of them deeply.
Maybe this is your chance to start writing down all the things you bring to the table and all the things that make you so special. I did this by saying yes to new opportunities. Whether it was becoming a horse wrangler or moving 1,500 miles away on my own, I learned that I have so much to offer. I am capable of so much more than I ever gave myself credit for, and I don't think I would have realized that if I had stayed in my comfort zone.
So give yourself the chance to discover who you are. I promise you'll surprise yourself, and you might just fall in love with the person you're becoming.